We have been in the house a little over 2 months and I actually did a home repair yesterday.
Jackie bought blinds from an on line company based in Texas. The blinds are all made in USA, which in itself is unusual. Plus, they were a great price!
After my friend Steve came out and helped me measure the width of the windows, Jackie placed the order. We got them while at the townhouse and I put them up as soon as we could after moving in.
But one blind in our bedroom did not lock into the upright position. So Jackie called the company and they said they would send out a new cord.
It arrived last Friday and for four days I stared at it.
You may know I am a klutz when it comes to home repair.
Among my exploits: Using a vice grips to grab a live wire and getting blown across the room from the shock while living on Mill Pond. Taking a 15 foot ride on a downward moving ladder, also on Mill Pond. Smashing myself in the face with a hammer while removing a nail at the first house on Southview. Popping a hernia while starting a roto tiller. (Sure, you can laugh but it hurt!)
So home repair is not a strong suit with me.
Back to the future.
I got my pliers, screw drivers of assorted sizes, hammer, chain saw, and took down the blind. I opened the package of cord and found a steel part that closely resembled the plastic part inside the blind rail.
Clipping the ends of the cord, I pulled out the old plastic part, re threaded the new part, snapped it back into place and rehung the blind. Voila!! It works!! Jackie can raise the blind and not yell for me to do it because it now stays in position instead of falling down again.
Which reminds me of a story.
Young, shapely woman just getting out of the shower hears her door bell ringing. She goes and yells through the door, "Who is it?"
A man replies, "Blind man, lady."
So she thinks what the hell, I am completely naked and wet, but he's blind. So she opens the doors.
The guy stares at her and says, "Yeow lady!! Where do you want your blinds?"
So be careful when coming to my house. You never know.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Snow fun in Illinoise
I meant to spell it that way! Why, you ask? Because all we seem to get out of Springfield is noise. Ill noise. So I renamed the state.
Remember before the November elections how everybody was upset about the state finances, the Congressional gridlock? Congress ratings were something near 10 percent. Illinois ratings for its elected officials was less than the amount of snow that fell on the ground today.
And almost all of them got re-elected. Why do we the people put up with the idiocy displayed in Congress and Springfield? Why don't we just boot them out and put someone else in? Seems easy.... everybody has a one term limit.
That's what snow does to me. Makes me think.
Right now I'm thinking about getting a lawn, some bushes, trees, mowing and snowblowing.
Two years ago I had a little surgery. Dr. Mike said I should not any heavy lifting, including pulling on the crank of a snow blower. So I bought a new snow blower with electric start.
Those were the days we actually had snow. I figure I am at about $175 per use at this point. I bought the new one in December and it was/is as big as a VW Beetle. Electric start, huge throwing capacity, two reverse speeds....an awesome machine.
Julia was home and we had a big snow. I got her out there to clear the driveway. I remember her putting it into the second reverse and having it pin her to a snowbank, and I was laughing so hard I could not get to the controls to move it forward. I did manage to get back into the house, grab a camera, and get a picture of her struggling to get out of the snowbank. She wasn't hurt and it was funny. I think that was the last time I used it.
Last year we moved and the snow blower went to Emily's. This year it moved from Emily's to our new house where it sits, primed and waiting.... waiting for a snowfall that covers the ground, grinds traffic to a halt, closes schools and creates mayhem at the airports.
The little piddly stuff we have had so far has not amounted to much. Sort of like the lawmakers we depend on to provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity.
Geez, I think I am hungry for winter!!
Remember before the November elections how everybody was upset about the state finances, the Congressional gridlock? Congress ratings were something near 10 percent. Illinois ratings for its elected officials was less than the amount of snow that fell on the ground today.
And almost all of them got re-elected. Why do we the people put up with the idiocy displayed in Congress and Springfield? Why don't we just boot them out and put someone else in? Seems easy.... everybody has a one term limit.
That's what snow does to me. Makes me think.
Right now I'm thinking about getting a lawn, some bushes, trees, mowing and snowblowing.
Two years ago I had a little surgery. Dr. Mike said I should not any heavy lifting, including pulling on the crank of a snow blower. So I bought a new snow blower with electric start.
Those were the days we actually had snow. I figure I am at about $175 per use at this point. I bought the new one in December and it was/is as big as a VW Beetle. Electric start, huge throwing capacity, two reverse speeds....an awesome machine.
Julia was home and we had a big snow. I got her out there to clear the driveway. I remember her putting it into the second reverse and having it pin her to a snowbank, and I was laughing so hard I could not get to the controls to move it forward. I did manage to get back into the house, grab a camera, and get a picture of her struggling to get out of the snowbank. She wasn't hurt and it was funny. I think that was the last time I used it.
Last year we moved and the snow blower went to Emily's. This year it moved from Emily's to our new house where it sits, primed and waiting.... waiting for a snowfall that covers the ground, grinds traffic to a halt, closes schools and creates mayhem at the airports.
The little piddly stuff we have had so far has not amounted to much. Sort of like the lawmakers we depend on to provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity.
Geez, I think I am hungry for winter!!
Monday, January 14, 2013
A rant guaranteed to offend someone....
Call me crazy, and several of you have, but I am really bothered by a lot of what gets said and posted about religion, gun control, the Constitution, The Pledge of Allegiance and the new right fielder for the Cubs.
So here goes.
I see these bumper stickers that say "Religious Freedom." and I agree, but yet I wonder. What does that mean? If you tell people they have to follow a certain religion to get a job, get insurance, get benefits, go to school, then that is not religious freedom. That is religious totalitarianism. Surprise...not everyone believes in God! Some believe in Budda, Muhammad, Yahweh, Jehovah, ECK or Kim Kardashian and some people don't believe in any supreme being. (Except Superman.) Yet people keep saying religious freedom. Which to me means you as a person have the freedom to worship how you want or not worship at all. You can believe in God, or not. You should not be required to honor God if you don't believe in God. Churches claim religious freedom in resisting the Affordable Care Act. But if your beliefs are that birth control, and the morning after pill, are ok then isn't a church taking away your freedom by imposing theirs?
And the Pledge. When it was write, the words Under God were not included. It went that way for almost 50 years until the fear of Communism drove some Congressmen to include the words Under God in the Pledge. So, if you are not a Christian, is saying the pledge forcing you to acknowledge A God, thereby depriving you of your religious freedom?
Gun control. No one has said ban all guns. No one. Yet people keep posting government is taking away our guns, defend yourselves from big government, yada yada yada. If you are in the gun rights camp and you firmly believe that weapons are not a problem, you are even more naive than me.
Automatic weapons, weapons that fire lots of bullets in small amounts of time, mega clips....those need to be eliminated. Weapons need to be registered. Background checks need to be done on all gun purchasers and ammo purchasers. People who buy weapons need to be held accountable on a regular basis for those weapons. And if you really think the government is going to come to all the gun owners in the middle of the night and confiscate their weapons..... well, you might want to talk to a professional about paranoia. We can't continue to allow people to cross state lines, buy guns, return home and sell them. If someone has a dog, in most states they have to register it and each year prove that the dog has its shots. Gun owners should have to show they still have their weapons.
If you want a handgun in your home for protection, fine. If you are a hunter, fine. If you are a target shooter, fine. But your guns should be licensed, registered and tracked.
Does that violate the Constitution?
Hardly. The second amendment says In order to maintain a well regulated militia, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. If we are going to follow the Constitution, then each gun owner should be part of an organized, well regulated militia. If we don't need a well regulated militia to protect us against the invading British, wine swilling French (that is a compliment) and Washington football players, then stricter gun control should be a given.
The Constitution was written to be a living, changing document because those property owning white old guys had the sense to realize the country would grow. And change. The Constitution was designed to be changed. If it wasn't, women would not be voting; minorities would be counted as 3/5 of a person, and state legislators would be electing senators (which is frightening considering how Illinois' jackasses can't seem to clean up their own shit).
And those changes have been made, interpreted, repealed, and hopefully made the country a better place to live.
Which brings this rant to a final topic..... the new Cubs right fielder. Really? A .260 hitter who seldom hits home runs? Really? Makes me almost not believe they can win it all this season.
Thanks for listening.
So here goes.
I see these bumper stickers that say "Religious Freedom." and I agree, but yet I wonder. What does that mean? If you tell people they have to follow a certain religion to get a job, get insurance, get benefits, go to school, then that is not religious freedom. That is religious totalitarianism. Surprise...not everyone believes in God! Some believe in Budda, Muhammad, Yahweh, Jehovah, ECK or Kim Kardashian and some people don't believe in any supreme being. (Except Superman.) Yet people keep saying religious freedom. Which to me means you as a person have the freedom to worship how you want or not worship at all. You can believe in God, or not. You should not be required to honor God if you don't believe in God. Churches claim religious freedom in resisting the Affordable Care Act. But if your beliefs are that birth control, and the morning after pill, are ok then isn't a church taking away your freedom by imposing theirs?
And the Pledge. When it was write, the words Under God were not included. It went that way for almost 50 years until the fear of Communism drove some Congressmen to include the words Under God in the Pledge. So, if you are not a Christian, is saying the pledge forcing you to acknowledge A God, thereby depriving you of your religious freedom?
Gun control. No one has said ban all guns. No one. Yet people keep posting government is taking away our guns, defend yourselves from big government, yada yada yada. If you are in the gun rights camp and you firmly believe that weapons are not a problem, you are even more naive than me.
Automatic weapons, weapons that fire lots of bullets in small amounts of time, mega clips....those need to be eliminated. Weapons need to be registered. Background checks need to be done on all gun purchasers and ammo purchasers. People who buy weapons need to be held accountable on a regular basis for those weapons. And if you really think the government is going to come to all the gun owners in the middle of the night and confiscate their weapons..... well, you might want to talk to a professional about paranoia. We can't continue to allow people to cross state lines, buy guns, return home and sell them. If someone has a dog, in most states they have to register it and each year prove that the dog has its shots. Gun owners should have to show they still have their weapons.
If you want a handgun in your home for protection, fine. If you are a hunter, fine. If you are a target shooter, fine. But your guns should be licensed, registered and tracked.
Does that violate the Constitution?
Hardly. The second amendment says In order to maintain a well regulated militia, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. If we are going to follow the Constitution, then each gun owner should be part of an organized, well regulated militia. If we don't need a well regulated militia to protect us against the invading British, wine swilling French (that is a compliment) and Washington football players, then stricter gun control should be a given.
The Constitution was written to be a living, changing document because those property owning white old guys had the sense to realize the country would grow. And change. The Constitution was designed to be changed. If it wasn't, women would not be voting; minorities would be counted as 3/5 of a person, and state legislators would be electing senators (which is frightening considering how Illinois' jackasses can't seem to clean up their own shit).
And those changes have been made, interpreted, repealed, and hopefully made the country a better place to live.
Which brings this rant to a final topic..... the new Cubs right fielder. Really? A .260 hitter who seldom hits home runs? Really? Makes me almost not believe they can win it all this season.
Thanks for listening.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
A little of this, a lot of that
Christmas is gone for another year. And I find that very depressing.
I love the holidays.....and I still believe in Santa. I love the house when it is decorated, but I moan and groan with every box of Christmas cheer I lug up from the basement. I like it because it is a good time of the year, a time to remember those less fortunate. A time for gathering of families and friends.
Of course, Julia comes home for Christmas which means our family is complete for a few short weeks.
Then poof....it's all gone. The glitter and ornaments are packed away. The dry tree is lugged into town and dumped at a tree recycling center. Julia is back in Switzerland. The pantry is slowly being emptied of sweet treats and I am gaining weight like a model who can't puke.
Seriously, why don't I have any will power? I see food and I eat. I don't have to be hungry, just breathing.
I am trying. I have stopped eating at 8 p.m. and now drink a glass of water or two before bed.
I'm 64. That means water and my prostate combine to cause sleep interuptus. And being in a new house, that is not good.
I almost peed in the closet one night! I could not for the life of me see though the fog of sleep (and truth be told, a half bottle of special wine from the Rouge) and walked into the closet. Lucky for me I could not find the light switch.
I nearly put a grill together today. Nearly. I remember when my folks were older and I would go and do things for them because they were too weak, eyesight was too bad, they were just unable to follow the directions.
God save me....I am them! Putting the grill together today I put two pieces on backwards. When the top didn't fit I had to take the parts off and put them on again. Emily had to come and show me what to do because the directions made no sense.
And those damn little screw holes! I could not see them so she had to do that.
But we got it together. It looks like it is supposed to. With the cost of beef rising, I'll be cooking lots of pork and chicken on it this spring and summer.
I just never expected to get old.
There are so many things I want to do in life that I won't be able to do because I did not make the effort or take the chance when I was younger. Downhill skiing. Hiking the Muir Trail. Taking a shot at making it in a professional improv comedy troupe. Driving Route 66. Dancing with Betty White. Finishing one of the books I have played with for months and years. Seeing polar bears in the wild. Watching a space launch. Living in New York City for one fall. Being King. Hiking from hut to hut in the Alps.
So if you are reading this, John in India, Kevin in Switzerland, Ivan in Russia,.... live life. Enjoy it now. Take that step and go after your dreams.
Because someday, believe it or not, you too will age.
I love the holidays.....and I still believe in Santa. I love the house when it is decorated, but I moan and groan with every box of Christmas cheer I lug up from the basement. I like it because it is a good time of the year, a time to remember those less fortunate. A time for gathering of families and friends.
Of course, Julia comes home for Christmas which means our family is complete for a few short weeks.
Then poof....it's all gone. The glitter and ornaments are packed away. The dry tree is lugged into town and dumped at a tree recycling center. Julia is back in Switzerland. The pantry is slowly being emptied of sweet treats and I am gaining weight like a model who can't puke.
Seriously, why don't I have any will power? I see food and I eat. I don't have to be hungry, just breathing.
I am trying. I have stopped eating at 8 p.m. and now drink a glass of water or two before bed.
I'm 64. That means water and my prostate combine to cause sleep interuptus. And being in a new house, that is not good.
I almost peed in the closet one night! I could not for the life of me see though the fog of sleep (and truth be told, a half bottle of special wine from the Rouge) and walked into the closet. Lucky for me I could not find the light switch.
I nearly put a grill together today. Nearly. I remember when my folks were older and I would go and do things for them because they were too weak, eyesight was too bad, they were just unable to follow the directions.
God save me....I am them! Putting the grill together today I put two pieces on backwards. When the top didn't fit I had to take the parts off and put them on again. Emily had to come and show me what to do because the directions made no sense.
And those damn little screw holes! I could not see them so she had to do that.
But we got it together. It looks like it is supposed to. With the cost of beef rising, I'll be cooking lots of pork and chicken on it this spring and summer.
I just never expected to get old.
There are so many things I want to do in life that I won't be able to do because I did not make the effort or take the chance when I was younger. Downhill skiing. Hiking the Muir Trail. Taking a shot at making it in a professional improv comedy troupe. Driving Route 66. Dancing with Betty White. Finishing one of the books I have played with for months and years. Seeing polar bears in the wild. Watching a space launch. Living in New York City for one fall. Being King. Hiking from hut to hut in the Alps.
So if you are reading this, John in India, Kevin in Switzerland, Ivan in Russia,.... live life. Enjoy it now. Take that step and go after your dreams.
Because someday, believe it or not, you too will age.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Am I a klepto???
In the process of moving and organizing, I have decided to group things. In our old houses when we looked for batteries there were AA in the desk drawer, D in the kitchen cabinet, AAA on the shelf in the pantry...... I had to look all over for a battery. Now, thanks to the modern invention of Tupperware storage containers, all my batteries are in one spot. Need a 9 volt? Look in the plastic storage container in the pantry. Mouse dead? Storage container in the pantry. Flashlight dull.....you get the idea.
I sorted my screwdrivers: Phillips head in one storage container, regular ones in another. I put my wrenches in storage containers, regular and metric.
I think I have purchased 21 storage containers. They are all over the place. Now I find them with: extension cords; computer cords; stuff from the desk; stuff I don't know where to put; things from my father (besides madness and terrible foot odor). I need a way to organize the storage containers.
I guess the natural thought would be: Get rid of the stuff you don't use or even have the foggiest idea what it is. Like the wooden fish with a round hole in it. Incense burner? Candle holder? Or the light meter for flash photography. Antique? Usable?
I also have some, hold on to this, Eucharistic candles from a 1926 Catholic convention. Over 200,000 people heard mass at Soldier Field, a mass delivered by the Pope himself. Of course, in those days the Popemobile was drawn by oxen. Just kidding. He did not need a Popemobile then. He was much younger and the world was safer.
But I have two candles from that event. Never used.
I also sorted pens. Yes, pens. You never have enough working pens. Here's what I found in my various pen cups.
About 6 from VCCT, both new and old styles. I like the new styles...much easier to grip.
One from The Hair Express, and I have to say this is the best pen in the world. When Jackie gets her hair done again, we'll need another.
Astra Hotel in Vevey-Montreux Switzerland. Guess who brought that one home?
One from K K Hamsher Funeral Home. I wrote a check for my mother's funeral there....in 2001! It still works!!
One from Selden Fox LTD, State Street Mortgage Group, First National Bank, Rochelle Insurance and Investment, Anderson Plumbing (although to be fair I feel I did pay plenty for that one!) Graber Financial Group, Rochelle Park District, Broome's Barber Shop, and Clinical Key....whatever that is.
And one from Lipscomb:Itts insurance that has 901 area code. Seriously. Where the hell is that?? Memphis...that's where. I have never been to Memphis in my life!!!
Maybe I should sort through the pencils next.
I have a couple dozen of those in various spots around the house.
And I need some more storage containers.
It's a never ending battle.
I sorted my screwdrivers: Phillips head in one storage container, regular ones in another. I put my wrenches in storage containers, regular and metric.
I think I have purchased 21 storage containers. They are all over the place. Now I find them with: extension cords; computer cords; stuff from the desk; stuff I don't know where to put; things from my father (besides madness and terrible foot odor). I need a way to organize the storage containers.
I guess the natural thought would be: Get rid of the stuff you don't use or even have the foggiest idea what it is. Like the wooden fish with a round hole in it. Incense burner? Candle holder? Or the light meter for flash photography. Antique? Usable?
I also have some, hold on to this, Eucharistic candles from a 1926 Catholic convention. Over 200,000 people heard mass at Soldier Field, a mass delivered by the Pope himself. Of course, in those days the Popemobile was drawn by oxen. Just kidding. He did not need a Popemobile then. He was much younger and the world was safer.
But I have two candles from that event. Never used.
I also sorted pens. Yes, pens. You never have enough working pens. Here's what I found in my various pen cups.
About 6 from VCCT, both new and old styles. I like the new styles...much easier to grip.
One from The Hair Express, and I have to say this is the best pen in the world. When Jackie gets her hair done again, we'll need another.
Astra Hotel in Vevey-Montreux Switzerland. Guess who brought that one home?
One from K K Hamsher Funeral Home. I wrote a check for my mother's funeral there....in 2001! It still works!!
One from Selden Fox LTD, State Street Mortgage Group, First National Bank, Rochelle Insurance and Investment, Anderson Plumbing (although to be fair I feel I did pay plenty for that one!) Graber Financial Group, Rochelle Park District, Broome's Barber Shop, and Clinical Key....whatever that is.
And one from Lipscomb:Itts insurance that has 901 area code. Seriously. Where the hell is that?? Memphis...that's where. I have never been to Memphis in my life!!!
Maybe I should sort through the pencils next.
I have a couple dozen of those in various spots around the house.
And I need some more storage containers.
It's a never ending battle.
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